The innovation of loneliness, by Shimi Cohen
Living through Social Media
I think this is the most exciting time to live in ever really. We have everything we could ever ask for. As well as nature, simplicity and friends, we can choose to live with an abundance of exciting technology and efficient electronics. How easily we can get in touch with each other now, how simple it is to stay connected with family abroad, friends in foreign countries and how cheap it is to communicate! We love it! Because if you didn´t - you wouldn´t be on here, reading this!
Unfortunately, a lot of people keep complaining about all this. They think we´ve stopped talking to each other and become lonely. But wait a minute - who has? Have you stopped talking to your friends? Have you stopped your own thoughts and adapted to some sort of general Social Media mass brains, where you only copy and paste whatever is coming in through your own personal account, without any selection, without any connection to your own thoughts?
Or are we actually just streamlining our own personality, identifying what our true interests and passions are, and finding a great way of expressing this by sharing it with our friends?
I would suggest if someone is feeling lonely due to social media, it´s because they´re outside the network, they don´t actually use it as intended, they don´t want to share their thoughts, taste and identity - and therefore - you would be lonely, because you won´t have anyone "talking to you!". You make yourself a social media outsider, an observer, a loner without your own identity. To gain from social media, you need to give. It´s in the word, from the Latin "allies" - you become part of an allied force that will communicate by giving - and taking.
I can assure you that I don´t repost most of the posts in my accounts, because either I disagree with them, or they are naff or they are of absolutely no interest to me. But when I repost something - it´s because it´s something that has resonated with me. Something that has drawn my interest, something that has made me laugh, got me curious or something that has helped me understand the world a bit better.
It´s by choice I do this - not because of group pressure.
I post a lot of my photos and of course I don´t post the ones I don´t like or aren´t happy with. But I don´t meet up with my friends without having a shower and doing my hair very often either. It doesn´t make sense to say that it´s bad selecting the way we want to present ourselves online to me - it makes the same sense as choosing a specific top when we´re meeting someone.
I haven´t stopped seeing people because of my activity online. I´ve made more friends, made more connections, and met with more people I would ever have met, if I had been sitting at home, waiting for someone to knock on my door to ask if I wanted to have a coffee with them.
Being connected online is for me - as a foreigner abroad, as a small business owner, as a busy mum - a marvellous way to stay in touch and get connected. It doesn´t change the way I am - I´d like to see it as it verifies the way I am! Never has it been easier for people to express their inner feelings, taste and identity - we are free, our minds are liberated, our identities are stronger and we are NOT lonely!!
What a great post, Mi! I love what you say about selecting what you put on social media being similar to taking a shower and picking your outfit before going out - it's not something I'd thought of before. So many decry social media or let it make them feel badly about themselves but it's important to remember that it's people's 'best top' presentation. Just as most people wouldn't wander down the high street in their greying pyjamas,they won't write about feeling low or things they've failed at (well, of course some people do!) As long as we remember that the likes of Facebook etc are the edited highlights of people's lives, not their WHOLE lives, social media is a force for good, and connectedness, as you've described so eloquently.
ReplyDelete